Is Your “Lack Mentality” Holding You Back From The Life You Deserve?


Young Beautiful Woman Hugging a dog

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
― Rumi

Lack mentality is the secret weapon behind mediocrity, lost hopes, and complacency. It deflates dreams, sucks the life from inspirational moments and may be one of the single largest obstacles standing between you and the life you want.

How can a mindset be that powerful?

Where your thoughts go, energy flows. What you focus on, you empower.

Focus on scarcity and lack, that’s what you’ll find. Seek out abundance, and that’s what you give power to. It’s that simple. But don’t take my word for it—test it out for yourself.

Before you start running intricate social experiments, let’s define “lack” and “abundance.”

Lack Mentality vs. Abundance Mentality

The Oxford English dictionary defines them as follows:

Lack (noun): the state of being without or not having enough of something

Abundance (noun); plentifulness of the good things of life; prosperity

When you apply these definitions to your mentality, it means that you see the world through a lens of either “not enough” or “more than enough.”

Let’s take love as an example.

Let’s say that you and your best friend hang out all the time, and you feel great about the depth of your connection. You know she loves you unconditionally, in all of your emotions, joys, challenges and shortcomings. Then she meets someone and they get romantically involved. Honeymoon phase commences.

If you have a lack or scarcity mentality around love, you may start to feel like there’s less love to go around—as if she has a finite number of “love units” to distribute, and her love interest is getting most of them. You get triggered and are afraid that you will not be getting enough love from her, that she will somehow “run out” of love for you, or that your source of love is threatened.

If you have an abundance mentality around love, you may react with joy and excitement that she’s cultivating love, inviting it into her life, and basking in it often. The abundance of love in her life means that there is more love spilling from every cell in her being (you’ve seen the “in love” glow before). It overflows into her life and the lives of those around her. This means more love for you and everyone else. Win!

Sure, you may not hang out as much, but it doesn’t mean there is less love for you. It means that she will be coming from a place of greater love when you do hang out, infusing your connection with more love. Quality vs. quantity.

This can be applied to money, time, resources, affection, food, and anything else you can think of. This affects the way we perceive life and where we stand in relation to getting our needs met at all levels.

If you have a lack mentality, does that mean you are doomed forever? Absolutely not. You have the power to change your mindset, and understanding your conditioning is a great place to start.

The Power of Conditioning

When you were two years old, you didn’t understand (or care about) social etiquette or what you were going to be when you grew up. Those came later, and are products of conditioning and social programming.

We are conditioned by our family growing up, by the culture and society we live in, by our friends and people we surround ourselves with. We are taught to respond and react in certain ways to life events. Sometimes these conditionings are beneficial and help us excel in life, and others times they become the very things that hold us back from blossoming. How does this work?

Our conditioning becomes part of the subconscious mind—the tapes running in the background, our “learned compass” for how to move through life and what’s possible.

These ideas of what’s possible and what’s “impossible” affect the way you perceive and interact with the world, which then creates your experience of reality.

A Life Not Fully Lived

Lack mentality stifles your imagination, your dreams and your perception of what’s possible in life. Abundance mentality opens your mind to the fact that there are so many opportunities being presented to us all the time. There are endless possible outcomes, and we play a huge part in deciding that. Almost like a “create your own adventure” book.

Say yes to life, to abundance, to your dreams, and watch how things shift for you.

Reprogram Yourself

If it can be learned, it can be unlearned

Steps to begin unlearning limiting beliefs and conditionings that don’t serve you:

Step 1: Acknowledge your mentality so you can begin working to reprogram it.

Step 2: Name it, which brings it to the conscious mind.

Step 3: Recognize the ways in which it holds you back. Where does it prevent you from having the life you want?

Step 4: Shift your thinking from lack/scarcity to abundance. It took a lifetime of programming to get you where you are now, and it may take a bit of time (depending on the method you use) to reprogram. Not always an easy task, but you can approach it in small steps.

For example: Instead of saying what’s going wrong, what you don’t want, what you don’t have, switch the statements around. Focus on what’s going well, what you do want, and what you already have.

Focus on the abundance already in your life. This could be the abundance of sunlight on a summer’s day, plants on the planet, people who support you, or opportunities to choose happiness.

Ultimately, your success is only as great as your most powerful limiting belief.

With some awareness, self-responsibility, and the courage to shift your mentality from lack to abundance, you can begin creating the life you want to live.

Create a routine you enjoy, which will help you form new patterns. Let your creative juices flow freely and give yourself permission to dream big. Surround yourself with people who inspire you. Tell others about everything that’s going well in your life. Doing this as an unofficial daily practice effects the lens through which you see the world. Glass half full vs. half empty.

The life you deserve is waiting for you to say yes to it.



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Alani Kelly

Alani Kelly is a Health + Desire Coach, writer, teacher, and’s Health + Wellness Expert. She specializes in empowering others to explore full desire, achieve total wellness, and feel more alive. Alani works with clients from around the globe, and offers customized coaching packages for personal transformation and growth. Questions for Alani? Want to schedule a free consultation? Visit her website, The Radiant Health Coach. You can also connect with her on Facebook .

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